LOVES & INTERESTS
satire. violent storms. vast, wide-open spaces. art deco. Shirakawa-Go. huge weeping willow trees. smoked haddie pie. Ernest Hemingway novels. absurdity. cool breezes. dogsledding. Arts and Crafts architecture. fog. swing dancing with my wife. typography. the smell of a wood-burning fire. Edinborough, Scotland. mythology. monochromatic color schemes.

TALENTS
spelling seldom-used words. elusiveness. making meatballs. incessant doodling. sweating. driving slowly. Crossfit. wrinkling my clothes. patronizing small independent businesses.

MUSES
Don Quixote. Robert Crumb. Wes Anderson. The Faint. Sylvia Plath. George Orwell. Devo. Simon Evans. Miranda July. 1970's Cure. Hermann Hesse. Eddie Vedder solo. Jack London. Sylvain Chomet. Mulata Astatke. Bad Veins. Chuck Palahniuk. Diane Arbus. Portlandia.

TURN-OFFS
clutter. warm sunshine. mayonnaise. movie sequels. overpopulation. asphalt.

FACTOID
After seventy or so years of gluttonous carnivorism I think it would be fitting to meet my end in the fangs of starving wolves—somewhere in the winter northwoods.